Yes it’s that time of year again. It’s the First of April, thus it’s that time of the year where companies, people and more importantly newspapers attempt to fool its readers into believing blatantly false stories.
Fortunately, these jokes are typically rather obvious. Regrettably, some people actually fall for this sort of thing, so we have taken the precaution of exposing some of the more notable stories today, from the UK and around the rest of the world…
In the United Kingdom:
Daily Express/Daily Mail
In what would appear to be a phenomenal coincidence, both the Mail and the Express have run with the same prank. Both the papers have suggested that some people would be silly enough to actually vote for the British National Party. Actually, it is curious enough that both papers agreed on the specifics of the story as well, that BNP leader Nick Griffin won his seat in the Yorkshire and Humber area. Obviously, it is patently ridiculous that this would ever happen.
[AMENDMENT] We would like to apologise. This story is actually true. Perhaps it was just wishful thinking that it wasn’t.
The Independent
This year, the Independent is going with the announcement that it is rolling out the first version of an innovative 3D newspaper. Whilst not strictly a political joke, we should just take this moment to appreciate that The Independent is a little behind the times, when in reality Facebook is currently developing immersive virtual reality news feeds, following its acquisition of the Oculus Rift.
The Financial Times
In terms of humourless newspapers, the Financial Times is up there. Last year, it rather snobbishly suggested that the “festival of tomfoolery” is a permanent situation. This year however, they are giving it a go. Regrettably this year was a particularly poor showing from the Financial Times. Their story that the Downing Street carpets have been replaced by carpets that have phallic imagery on them is both juvenile and still not particularly funny. Better luck next time.
The Daily Star
I personally have always found it very difficult to determine whether the Daily Star is jointly conceived by all the other newspapers to make themselves look better. Part completely wrong, part porn, the Daily Star is essentially everything that is wrong with the profession of journalism. It wouldn’t be a surprise if it accurately reported on something as a joke. Whether or not any of this constitutes an April Fools prank, we don’t know. Even still, we consider that the paper itself counts as an April Fools throughout the year, no matter what day.
Around the globe:
Huffington Post
The Huffington Post have run the story that Kevin Spacey, star of Netflix show House of Cards, which is fantastic by the way, is actually going to run for office. Spacey will hope to emulate his character by attempting to become representative of South Carolina in the House of Representatives. However, this is in spite of the fact that Spacey is actually from new Jersey, and his character from House of Cards is actually a bit of a dick. It is entirely possible that the whole story was originally made by Netflix in the first place.
Fox News
Fox News has a somewhat poor reputation with us over the pond, being relatively right wing compared to our sensibilities. Even still, despite the network being relatively out of touch with the UK, even they still really really hate Piers Morgan. As right they should. As such, they mockingly announced the premier of a new show, hosted by fetid demon in human form Morgan. The show would gather people of varying political views in a room, with the man known in Mexico as “El Slime”, and they all unite in their mutual hatred of Piers Morgan. Even if it isn’t true, it probably should be.
Al-Jazeera
Middle-eastern based news agency Al-Jazeera are notable in this circumstance for not actually running any kind of April Fools in the slightest. Is this because of blatant humourlessness, or is it purely because it is one of the news networks that has a fairly good reputation. We would just like to congratulate Al-Jazeera for not succumbing to the temptation to effectively just blatantly make things up and then present them as fact. (One we clearly couldn’t resist, ahem.) Basically, shout out to Al-Jazeera.
Der Spiegel
In what we presume to be a joke rather specific to the German psyche, which notoriously doesn’t translate particularly well into other languages, the Spiegel has run a torrent of stories about the Greek economy recovering. Whilst Fortitude Politics doesn’t really endorse the mockery of the financial and economic suffering of a nation, we presume that this is a joke better told in German. Or with the backing of a particularly strong economy.
Russia Today
Russian news behemoth RT is currently running the story that border tensions with Ukraine has escalated to the point where Ukrainian troops have gained serious ground, taking the initiative in Crimea. Obviously, this is presumably so ridiculous to the Russian people that nobody is actually going to fall for this. Even still, notable that Russia Today has started reporting on escalated border disputes before they have even really started. We here at Fortitude are actually a little worried.
Le Monde
French News Network Le Monde has not really properly embraced the spirit of April Fools day. At the least, they haven’t really got the point. Instead of running a story that could, at first, be misinterpreted as true, but on reflection is quite blatantly a fabrication, they have instead basically presented a list of racial slurs against the Belgians. Again, French humour must not translate well over into the English language.
Happy April Fools?