It’s hard to gain an understanding of the word love, let alone describe it through an article. No matter how hard you try to explain yourself, no matter how passionate you are about the person or item you’re writing about – it’s actions that speak louder than words.
Many people seem to think that you shouldn’t have to say sorry, or have anything to be sorry for once you love someone, but I doubt that theory. I believe that love is all about saying sorry.
I discovered love through my mother. I found that she is the one person that doesn’t give up. Yes, there have been moments of doubt and realisations that maybe some things just aren’t worth the worry, but when it came to things that mattered – like family – she put her heart and soul into making things right. She sat by me night after night throughout the whole duration I was in hospital, selling our vehicles to raise money and making arrangements to be with me 24/7, even though I was technically old enough to stay there by myself. She waited on me hand and foot when I wasn’t helping myself to get better. She gave me constant thrive and determination to make something of myself and although I continued to disappoint her, she never gave up.
Raising me and my sister in a one bedroom flat on little money, she took full control of her life whilst trying to give my younger sister and I a nice one. She funded my life choices when I lost my job and paid my expenses and travel whenever I needed to be somewhere. She let me move away and experience things for myself but stood by me throughout, even when I didn’t give her the time or effort I should’ve done. She was there when I needed to come home and supported and pulled me through any mistakes I’d made. Every gig I performed at she was there at the front cheering me on. It’s moments like these that I remember how much pride I had seen in her eyes, and it seems that sometimes I forget just how much she’s done for me.
There are countless things that I have been sorry for and will be continue to be sorry for as I grow older. There will be more memories both good and bad, and more moments of pride yet more of disappointment. All I know is that my mother is my best friend. Though I don’t show her enough appreciation, the thought of being without her kills me. It’s like that saying “you never know what you have until it’s gone” – and I don’t want to look back when I’m old and think regret the way I treated her, or think I didn’t make the most of the little time we are given together.
So mum, I titled this article to remind you of our song, to remind you of how happy we can be; and although this was supposed to be a happy birthday message, I thought I’d write something with a little more meaning, and let you know that you are the most beautiful, caring, inspiring woman I have ever been privileged to know. You are my best friend.
Happy Birthday, I love you. X